After a Crisis or Trauma

by E-NewsCast Team
November 24th, 2009

Crises and traumas change our lives. We talk about PostTraumatic Stress Syndrome, but did you know they can also changeus for the better? There is also a Post traumatic Stress GrowthSyndrome. Many people come out of crises stronger and moreresilient, and have learned many new life skills.When people talk about a crisis they’ve weathered here are someof the things they say have resulted.1.Change in priorities.It’s common after you go through a crisis to look at thingsdifferently. One thing it often does is show us how fragile lifeis. If we have lost someone, or nearly lost our own life, orsomething important, we take a look at our lives and figure outwhat really matters. You also have a different relationship withtime. 2.Dealing with emotions differently.You tend to come out of a crisis being more willing to expressyour motions, and to understand those of others, and relate withmore compassion. Crises often extend our awareness of ouremotions because we’re flooded with so many, and trying to sortthrough them all teaches us new levels. It raises our tolerancethreshold. At the same time, we understand the importance of listening toothers. To know pain and suffering means you can understandthese in others better. Many counselors, coaches and therapistshave gone through some sort of trauma. This is one way in whichthey become such a good listeners. 3.Resilience.Weathering a storm teaches you a lot about weathering storms.The next time something comes along, you can look back on theskills you used to get you through the last one. You can alsolearn from your mistakes. Just as a sailor’s skills aren’treally tested in the harbor, we learn new things when we’retested. You find out you are stronger than you ever thoughtpossible. 4.Draw closer to people and understand community.You find in a crisis how wonderful people can be. Some peoplemay let you down, but others will come forward. 5.New interests.Because we change through a crisis, we often take up newinterests. You may become interested in a different sort ofcareer, for instance, or decide you want to marry and have afulfilling relationship, where you didn’t before, or to givemore back to your community in means of volunteer service. Veryoften it amounts to a “new you” and you extend your boundaries.6.Less willing to compromise.Often we find after a crisis, we’re more willing to changethings that need changing, and to take action when it’snecessary. The strength you discover in a crisis leads to agreat sense of personal power; your ability to effect what’sgoing on around you.7.Not taking anything for granted. Once you discover what really matters, you are much more willingto put the work in. This could include meaningful relationshipsor work. Losing something important, or almost losing it, bringsthing into a new perspective. You don’t take things for grantedyou used to.8.An appreciation for the now.There is nothing like going through a trauma or crisis to makeyou appreciate a quiet, “normal” day. Suddenly a day thatformerly might have seemed boring to you is full of wonderfulthings – among them, just the fact that there’s nothing awfulgoing on. 9.Handle stress better.Your toleration of stress will have become elevated, and you canhandle everyday stress better. 10.Spiritual growth.Going through a crisis is being where the rubber hits the road.You question many things, including your faith, and can come outmuch stronger. Questions arise that wouldn’t have arisenotherwise, and so you grow.All of these things are possible when you go through a crisis ortrauma. One of the most important things is not to stay inisolation. Many people understand after going through a crisishow helpful other people can be, and how much we need oneanother.Coaching and counseling can also help you in time of need.Resilience means being able to bounce back after loss, failure,and misfortune being able to retain you hope and enthusiasm forthe future.While no one wants to have a crisis or trauma occur in theirlife, it can be a tremendous growth opportunity. Studies haveshown that isolation, which means emotional isolation, is one ofthe worst things you can do for your health. Reach out for thehelp you need and stay connected, and work on your emotionalintelligence skills. It’s the emotionally intelligent thing todo.

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