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Finding Someone Special
Browsing through the personal classifieds can be quitefrustrating if you really don’t know what qualities or the typeof personality it is that you are searching for in the personyou are seeking, or in the relationship you are seeking. Questions you need to ask yourself before and as you are readingthrough the personal sections again are: Why are you searchingfor someone, do you want a companion, a serious relationship orjust to make friends with someone new with the hopes of dating.Who are you looking for, are you searching for someone tall,short, thin, stout, young, old, divorced, widowed, single,married, and the list goes on to include all personal choicesand preferences in people. Discussing this theory a little more in detail – If you have aproblem dating someone with kids, you should skip over theclassifieds that reveal those people who have kids or you willonly be letting yourself down in the end when you are building arelationship. This theory pertains to all of the listings, forexample, if you are searching for someone that is just for you,without ever sharing that person with another, search forsomeone who has never been married or who is not a widow(widower). Once you know whom you are searching for, you will beable to read the personal classifieds with more confidence anddecision making abilities. Read the classifieds completely, tracking the writing thatinterests you the most so that you can go back and compare,reread or contact that person. Reading through the entirepersonal section, or at very least the section that applies yourtarget interest group, you will find a variety of people withvast differences in personalities just through the shortdescriptions available. Now is the tough time to write your contact letter, made muchsimpler if you have already created your profile for replies toread about you. Starting your reply is easy with an opening suchas, ‘I have read your profile and found you are most intriguing(interesting, exciting, provocative)’ or you could use somethingmore elaborate such as ‘Your profile interested me to the pointwhere I had to contact you right away to find out what we havein common’. While there are many expressions and various phrasesyou can use when writing your opening letter, the contact letteris truly going to be a reflection of your personality, and whatyou are searching for in a relationship. The first example of ‘I have read your profile and found you aremost intriguing’, would reveal that you are interested. Are yousearching for friendship in the classified section? Try usingthe first example building on that sentence to read along thelines of: ‘I would like the opportunity to get to know youbetter and talk a while’. But if you are searching for a loverthrough the personals, the second sentence could read: ‘I reallywould love to get to know you better, find out what type ofperson you are searching for and hopefully to create a matchwith you’. The point here is to keep your true feelings withinthe boundaries of words, not scaring off someone if you are justwanting to be friends, while on the other hand if you aresearching for a lover don’t hide behind words of a friendlychat. Top ideas to use in your opening introduction letter are expressyour interest to your potential ‘date’ using your writing toexpress why you are contacting that person. Reveal to thisperson how you propose to meet their needs in their search for afriend, companion or lover using expressive words such as ‘Iintend to’ or ‘I would like to’ or even ‘I have been searchingthrough the classifieds and found your profile appealing to mebecause’. Give just a few hints about your where you arelocated, without revealing to much about your withoutdetermining whether the two of you will continue a conversation.Use phrases like, ‘I am from the east coast’ or ‘I live south ofCalifornia’ or other such general terms, revealing your locationto a particular location through later conversations. Yourinitial contact with a proposed ‘date’ should be about the typeof person you are searching for, why you have been usingresources online to search for someone special, and what you arehoping to gain from a relationship from this person withpersonal details revealed through additional conversations asyour ‘relationship’ trust grows. Online personals have been created for the user to actanonymously while investigating the possibilities of friendship,love and for finding that someone special to spend your lifewith. Using your thoughts and feelings through this situation,creatively with expressive words without misleading readers willallow you to reach your destination, of finding that someonespecial, faster and easier that you would be able to in anyother situation.
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