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Guys Fear Commitment? Maybe it’s You!
In a recent episode of my favorite TV show, two of thecharacters ended up in bed together. Afterwards, the gorgeousand highly masculine man turned to the woman and asked, “What’sgoing on here? Where are we going with this?”Her response?”Come on. I thought I was the girl here.”In other words, a real man should want to avoid commitment likethe H-Bomb.This may just be a scene from TV, but too many real-life womenfind themselves turned off when a man shows interest in moving arelationship forward. And whenever I relate a story about a guyI know who wants a commitment from his girlfriend, one of myfemale friends will comment, “He sounds like the girl in therelationship.”Huh?The thing is, the media (particularly women’s magazines, whichbrainwash us into believing that we have to “get” a guy to marryus) promote the falsehood that marriage is the goal of everyfemale’s existence. Men just want sex.We walk around believing this nonsense, and when it doesn’tmatch up to what we encounter in real life (a guy who reallywants to be with us, who is monogamous, and eager forcommitment), we automatically assume there’s something wrongwith him.The next time you meet a guy, and he actually calls when he sayshe’s going to, stay the course. Don’t freak out. Don’t assumehe’s a loser. Go out with him again. Give him a chance to growon you. Give yourself a chance to decide whether he might be theguy who could make you happy for the rest of your life.If you find he doesn’t do it for you, cut him loose. But if youfind that every guy who shows genuine interest (or wants to takethings to the next level) doesn’t do it for you, if you findyourself continually attracted to unavailable (emotionally orotherwise) men who love you and leave you, ask yourself ifyou–yes, you!–are a commitmentphobe.If the answer is yes, figure out what scares you aboutcommitment. Work your way through it. Before long, you’ll findyourself attracted to better men.And in time, you’ll find yourself waking up every morning nextto the man with whom you enjoy a fun, loving, and commitedrelationship. All former struggle, strain, and strife will belong forgotten.Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of “How to Attract andMarry the Man of Your Dreams.” Visit her website athttp://www.marrysmart.com Check out her blog athttp://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com
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