How’s Your Empty Nest

by E-NewsCast Team
June 11th, 2010

The Kids have all left the nest (or just about?), the house isempty and you’re wondering what you’re going to do with yourtime now.Seems like it just “happened” all of a sudden for some whileothers knew the time was near and dreaded when the last child(maybe even the first or perhaps only?) left the nest to headoff to college or whatever other plans they may have made.So many Moms (and yes, Dads too!) have a difficult timeadjusting to this time even though you know that this is allpart of ‘the plan’ from the time they are born. After all we didthe same thing didn’t we? Went off to college, got a job andmoved out (eventually), or married and started our own life. Andyet, it draws near and you find yourself almost in a panicwondering what you are going to do with the rest of your life!You spend so much of your time ‘doing’ for the kids from thetime they are born; you find your life pretty much revolvesaround theirs. Even for a lot of the Moms that have workedoutside the home for several years, it’s pretty much the same.Get up in the morning, get kids up make breakfast, make surethey’re ready for school, go to work only to try and make sureyou get off in time to make a ball game or other schoolactivities, (not to mention the times they are home sick fromschool!) your life is still pretty much revolving around thekids!And even though, as mentioned, you know this time is coming,it’s kind of hard to just shut all of this down and go on withwhat amounts to a “new life”.But, it’s here and now you have to adjust and deal with it! Mucheasier said then done for some.First off do give yourself a BIG pat on the back; you deserveit. You have raised a child with the confidence to go out andface that ‘big wide world’ and now you need to give yourselfsome adjusting time. After all it’s almost like a time of“mourning” for some, you feel like you have lost a part ofyourself, which, of course, is NOT true. Now is the time to findthat “Old You” or create a “New You”!So many think their time as “Mom” is over with, which is alsonot true. It just revolves into a different phase. You’ll alwaysbe their Mom, even though it might feel at times that they areshutting you out. Remember, they are going through theiradjusting period too! They settle down after a while, you startadjusting to their being out of the house, then that more“adult” relationship begins which can be very rewarding when youstart seeing your ‘child’ becoming an adult.Meanwhile, it’s time to start thinking of you and what you wantto do with this new phase of your life.If you find yourself just completely baffled at what you can do,get a piece of paper and pen and start jotting down things youlike to do or things you use to like or want to do when the kidswere small but didn’t have time for. This may even be a goodtime to jot down some of the “new” projects you’d like to try.You might be surprised at how fast the paper fills up.Do you like to sew? Cook? Go Fishing? Climb mountains? Do craftsof any kind? Some are really getting into Scrap Booking rightnow. Been thinking of getting a part time (or full time) job?Maybe if you’ve been working you can change jobs or go for thatpromotion? Possibly, you’ve been working and now want to quit?LOL, the list could be endless. It’s all about what you want todo now. Some Moms have even gone back to school and earneddegrees and started all new careers.Seems like whether we like it or not, the kids grow up and wehave to move on with our lives (they certainly are!). Don’t youthink it’s what they would like to see anyway, that we areadjusting and moving on, after all, we don’t really want to makethem feel guilty for growing up, do we? This time of our livescan be what we make it, so let’s make the best of it!Remember also, that a lot of us are starting to go throughMenopause at this time of our lives, which doesn’t exactly help(alas, the trials of ‘womanhood’!). So if you are reallyexperiencing a lot of depression and finding it hard to workthough all of this, don’t be afraid or shy to talk to yourfamily doctor or minister. You may even want to considerprofessional counseling. It’s certainly nothing to be ashamedof. Think of your health and well-being. Try to make the mostout of your life and be happy and content. For those of you who would like to communicate with other momsgoing though this “Empty Nest Phase” please feel free to checkout the forum on Empty Nest Moms, “Live After the Nest Empties”.You’ll find you really aren’t alone or “going crazy” as some ofthe members have put it, plus you’ll receive lots of supportfrom those that know almost exactly how you are feeling!You’ll find many topics to choose from as we have moms that arein different phases of this Empty Nest, all ready to jump inwith support and suggestions. Don’t forget, “you’re always going to be their Mom!”Jeanine Herrin Empty Nest Moms www.emptynestmoms.com Be sure tovisit the new Empty Nest “On-Line” Magazine!www.emptynestmagazine.com

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